“Everyone has opportunities that don’t work out, so what?”

Some of the reactions to my and @marquisele‘s experiences with Lindo Bacon have been along the lines of, “Everyone has opportunities that don’t work out, so what?”

What you’re missing is that often, these tainted opportunities are the only ones marginalized people *get.* 🧡

For us, it’s not one bad experience out of 100. It’s one out of two, or eight out of ten.

Dealing with these poisonous “opportunities” takes our time and energy away from real business.

It wears us down, burns us out, chases us out of industries and teaches us that the only…

…way we can play is to accept losing.

And getting away with it teaches abusers that they can keep doing it, and sets industry norms.

For another example, let’s look at how Maria Paredes has treated fat and/or Black people. (See https://bit.ly/3t9OcQF)

Every person who defended her, or watched those events go down in silence, has now learned that this is acceptable behavior.

And every fat and/or Black person who watched those events go down has learned that when #HAES providers attack them, not only will no one will believe them or stand up in their defense, but that this is the HAES norm.

MP, who’s well known among HAES providers and has a large Instagram following, appropriated a fat term and then viciously attacked fat people who objected.

Not a single thin person objected publicly. Or, presumably, had a word with MP privately.

When MP deleted comments and blocked dozens of fat people, not a single thin person objected. And the whole incident was hidden so successfully that I’m the only person among HAES providers who remembered.

Is it any wonder that fat people don’t trust thin HAES providers? You pushed us out of our own movement, used us to build your careers and wealth, abused us with impunity, ignored mistreatment and made HAES synonymous with ED treatment, another notoriously fatphobic industry.

Please do not send me any reactions or messages from MP, by the way. Both Maria Paredes and Lindo Bacon have had years to fix things and didn’t, so I’m not interested in hearing what they have to say at the moment.

Originally tweeted by Lindley Ashline (she/her) πŸŒ»πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ (@lindleyashline) on March 14, 2022.

Hi there! I'm Lindley. I create artwork that celebrates the unique beauty of bodies that fall outside conventional "beauty" standards at Body Liberation Photography. I'm also the creator of Body Liberation Stock and the Body Love Shop, a curated central resource for body-friendly artwork and products. Find all my work here at bodyliberationphotos.com.