Image description: A thin white man with close-cropped hair is shown from the neck up in two shots, side by side. In the first, he has a manic smile. In the second, he has an exaggerated frown. In both shots, his face and neck are covered with a pasty white substance. End image description. Photo…
Image description: A fat white women with shoulder-length blonde hair is shown in a black and white image with a black drape just covering the tips of her breasts and part of her torso. She is looking off to one side with a solemn expression, with tree limbs behind her. Today we’re going to explore…
Image description: A young woman’s legs are shown propped up on a white wall. She is wearing a short black tutu skirt and black lacy socks that twine up (or down, since her feet are pointing up) her legs. Last week during a podcast recording, I was asked to talk about what I’d want young…
One part of interacting with healthcare providers while living in a fat body is that your value and worth as a patient are always, always conditional and based on your perceived compliance. I’ve been seeing my dentist, who I adore, for many years. My genetic lack of tooth enamel makes me a frequent visitor. In…
My friend P. asks, “It was a total shock to me to be told that I’m small fat. For me it was like being told I’m not really fat. My sense of myself is something very different. I struggle with self loathing every day. I’ve believed all the negative messages society feeds us. Thankfully I’m…
Image description: A fat white baby’s arm is partially seen between an overlapping floral blanket, blue onesie sleeve and the body and strap of a car’s seat and child safety seat. Image source: Al Soot on Unsplash It’s definitely the fat kids’ fault. That was the gist of a discussion I witnessed last week, in…
When someone in a marginalized body shares a deep fear with you and your first answer is, “Well, I work in that field and I’ve never seen that,” you are in the wrong. Especially if you do not share that marginalization. Especially if you are a healthcare provider. Especially if that fear is well-founded, well-documented…
You can assign points to food and you can talk about calories in calories out and you can talk about willpower and you can talk about dietsand you can talk about fatand you can talk about loss but until you start talking about the way human bodies actually work in the real world you’re not…
I prepared these two German pieces for an audition and they’re both so floating and lovely! “Die Lotosblume” (“The Lotus Flower”) is a poem written by Heinrich Heine, and published in his Buch der Lieder (The Book of Songs, 1827). Set to music by Robert Schumann in 1840, this Lied is part of Schumann’s Myrthen…
View this post on Instagram A post shared by Lindley Ashline (she/her) (@bodyliberationwithlindley) on Aug 26, 2020 at 9:29am PDT I never intended to get involved in the eating disorder community. I’ve never had an ED. But the prevalence of ED treatment clinicians and patients in the health at every size (#HAES) community forced me…
The first two paragraphs of the thought below deserve a content note for violence and fat hatred, though the rest doesn’t. Please protect yourself as needed. I got my first death wish this week. One of my anti-diet Facebook posts was apparently shared in a Facebook group for bodybuilders that spends some of their effort…
Today I’m thinking about the mental load of living as a fat person and how it’s affected by one small example: this Renfrew newsletter mess. (Trigger warnings apply.) If you live in a smaller body, you can say, “Oh, that’s terrible” and move right along with your life. But if you live in a fat…
Content note: Open bigotry; fatphobia in a medical and healthcare treatment setting. Image is Edvard Munch’s “The Scream.” “As I sit across from my 5’ 8” 350-pound client, I am filled with discomfort and fear. In the grip of my terror, I want to fix her, to make her healthy and to protect her from…
Imagine a (pre-COVID) concert hall, filled with a cheering, applauding crowd. Imagine a stage full of performers in bright colors and full voice. Imagine a marquee on the front of the hall, flashing brilliantly in the darkness with the words, LET’S TALK ABOUT FAT! And imagine that, as you skim that concert hall again in…
This was one of my most memorable recital songs! Not only is the composer’s name (Engelbert Humperdinck) fun to say, but playing the Dew Fairy in this scene was a delight. I will happily wear fairy wings any time. The Dew Fairy Aria is from the opera Hansel & Gretel, first performed in 1893 in…
Dear fat admirers and chubby chasers: We don’t care whether you find us attractive. At all. Every time I talk about the innate desirability, attractiveness or sexuality of fat women, men roll up to let the world know that unlike the rabble, they like fat women. A lot. In fact, they even have a thing…
“All relationships need boundaries. A boundary is an imaginary line that separates me from you. They separate your physical space, your feelings, needs, and responsibilities from others. Your boundaries also tell other people how they can treat you – what’s acceptable and what isn’t.” – Sharon Martin I didn’t learn to start setting boundaries until…
Please stop asking us to describe our pain for your gain. You’re preparing a presentation for your colleagues, or your class, or your professional society on healthcare, Health at Every Size, or weight stigma. You want to include some stories of the harassment, bias, discrimination and hatred fat people face every day, but since you…
I was standing in the aisle between cubicles when I turned my back, gritted my teeth and said, rather shortly, “No, really, you can check the tag on my pants if you don’t believe me.” I’d made a casual comment about not being able to find black slacks that I liked, and a well-meaning but…
When you live in a fat body, you live in a world where bodies like yours are so far outside the norm that they’re only used in media to send a message. A fat body is never just a fat body: It’s a symbol, and 99.5% of the time, a symbol of something negative. Video…
I didn’t want to write this today. My emotional strategy in this time of pandemic has consisted of three parts: Stay informed of every news update, stay home as much as possible, and distract myself. I’m reviving my love of jigsaw puzzles. I’m texting my relatives, who live far away from me. I’m re-reading the…
What would happen if paint became a Big Thing? In fact, what would happen if one specific paint brand became a Big Thing, to the exclusion of all else? What if that paint brand became so popular that you were expected to use it in every room of your house? To the point that visitors…
Hi friend, what’s it like to go to the grocery store while thin? Let me tell you what it was like to go to the grocery store this week while fat. It’s having people glance your way and then look away quickly, as if having glimpsed something obscene or disgusting. It’s having a woman in…
This lovely piece is one of a set of fusions of Baroque and Brazilian music by the Brazilian composer Heitor Villa-Lobos. (Thanks, Wikipedia) This isn’t a recent video, but I’m re-sharing it as a way of releasing old body shame. When this video was taken, I was bothered by the way my fat body moved…
For those of us in larger bodies, it can feel like we’re hemmed in all around with barriers and gates and forms to be submitted in triplicate just to live our lives. To live in bodies this scrutizined and regulated and constantly criticized is to feel that we need permission to eat, to breathe, to…
Cruelty is an inherent part of diet culture. Diet culture gives us a dichotomy: bodies are either good (thin) or bad (fat). In this framework, a “good” body is something that can and should always be the ultimate goal. Not only is a good body the only healthy, morally upright and worthy kind of body,…
This is an oratorio piece from the Dixit Dominus, a psalm setting by George Frideric Handel (catalogued as HWV 232). It uses the Latin text of Psalm 110 (Vulgate 109), which begins with the words Dixit Dominus (“The Lord Said”). (Thanks, Wikipedia!) This isn’t a recent video, but I’m re-sharing it as a way of…
Just in case you need a reminder today: Cutting off contact with toxic people, or setting a no-contact or minimal-contact boundary for yourself, is a perfectly valid thing to do. We have this cultural expectation that if you just find the right words and make your case just right, a toxic relative or friend will…
This is of course the song with a famous rendition by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman. “Con te partirò” was never part of an opera, but was an individual piece written by Francesco Sartori (music) and Lucio Quarantotto (lyrics). It was released first as a solo piece by Bocelli and then as a duet with…
“Oh, phew,” said the client I’d just finished photographing yesterday, as we stood in her office. “That makes so much more sense. I found you by googling for ‘body positive photography’ anyway — this is much more clear.” I’d just told her that I’m changing my website and brand, and she immediately picked up on…
Let it be entered into the permanent record that I’m actually managing to take it relatively easy this week. I’m slowing down a bit, relaxing a bit. Petting the cats more and using my hands a bit less. This was a good week to upgrade my computer, since I’m feeling a bit less pressure…
It’s always a delight to talk with one of the Fat Faces, Eron, and this time we did it on the record! (Amanda is also a delight, but was absent that day, alas.) We dig deep into my entrepreneurial journey, why I chose to work with fat folks, and your official permission to take care…
If you’ve ever met me, it’s pretty easy to figure out that I’m seriously, seriously type A. I keep lists of my lists, and my calendar and Asana lists are a thing of beauty. I’m always the one who knows who-what-when-where-why and probably how. I’ve never scheduled a vacation down to the minute, but it’s…
It’s a rare day of winter sun here outside Seattle, and I’m puttering around my portrait studio here at Alcove House, drinking in the light pouring through the windows and capturing the small details that make up my surroundings. Vivid orange gerbera daisies that the Viking brought me while I had a cold earlier this…
“Sorry, I don’t think she heard you,” said my husband to someone standing behind me. I turned from my observation about the price of cashews and California drought to the girl, twentysomething, chubby, ponytail who said, “I love your shoes!” “I know, right?” I said. “I have a pair in pink,” she said, “but I’ve…
This French braid is askew. It’s crooked. There are stray locks everywhere, the tension is all wrong, and the hair elastic is placed far too high. It is seriously the worst. It’s also the first French braid I’ve attempted in a long time, and only one of a few I’ve ever tried. Back in middle…
You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world…
