Ask a Fat Model: Actress & Plus-Size Model Lilith Fury
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This is the Body Liberation Photos Ask a Fat Creator (and Allies) series, in which we find out more about the lives, work, and breakfasts of all kinds of large-bodied and marginalized creators and their allies.
Lilith is an actress, mainly in horror movies, and has appeared in over two dozen films to date. Her love for the horror genre has also extended to her modelling career, as she was the first plus-size model in my size category for goth brands Killstar, Too Fast, Sourpuss, etc.
Lilith is Latina, Indigenous, Queer, and Disabled, and has made it her mission to help provide representation to those who otherwise go unacknowledged. She hopes to bring body positivity to the world of horror.
Tell me about you! What’s your name? What pronouns do you use? Where do you live? What do you like to eat for breakfast?
Lilith Fury, 39 years old. She/her/they/them
Los Ángeles, Ca.
Cucumbers with tajin, and stevia. It’s sooooo good. Especially with a hot cup of cafe bustelo.
What kind of modeling do you do? Do you model on the side, full time, part time?
Mostly fashion, though occasionally lifestyle as well. I work full time as a model and actress. My job options are limited due to health issues, so I’m glad that I can do this. I’ll be going back to school soon though so that I can be a mortician.
How did you get started as a model? What has your path looked like so far?
I had worked in adult entertainment but then lost my insurance. The appeal date was too far in advance so I had no choice other than to try and move somewhere I could be covered immediately, to get the ongoing care I needed. I worked 16-18 hrs a day, 7 days a week, but wasn’t earning much at all. Some days I’d only get $5.
I started doing a fundraiser sale with my entire 172 vid library for a $50 donation. I also sold almost all my possessions. I was being sabotaged the entire time and had gotten banned on gofundme and PayPal because of a hateful person. After two months I was able to move. Having been sabotaged, and not having anything left to sell, I became homeless.
I wasn’t able to make more content without a place to film or cam. Several months later an apartment was available so I was able to have a home again. I fundraised again and was sabotaged again. Luckily I worked my butt off and had two good friends that helped out. Now that I finally had a place to stay I didn’t want anything to do with cam work ever again.
Too many people were angry at me for not making content when I was literally unable to and would berate me for not working for free and expecting to be paid. It was so toxic. I started building my portfolio by taking pics in dressing rooms wearing clothes I didn’t own and swapping the background. I didn’t own enough clothes to do proper posts, let alone nice clothes.
When I first got brand partnerships I was so excited because it meant having clothes, and shoes that weren’t broken. It was amazing. After that, I kept going.
What has your experience been like as a plus-size model? What have been the high points and low points?
It’s surprising how alike it is when I did cam. The expectation is that being fat means I’m not worthy of pay. The misconception that I’m successful, and rolling in cash when I’m struggling, and almost always in the negative. Having to work all day, only to be assumed lazy. The stressors of dealing with toxic people who are hell-bent on spreading slander.
It’s definitely not what I expected when transitioning to plus-size modelling. I wouldn’t trade this job though.
It makes me happy knowing that I’ve helped so many people learn to love themselves, finally learn about a condition their doctors never noticed in them before, and more recently, to get the strength to leave an abusive ex. Knowing that I’ve helped others makes it all worth it.
New in the Body Love Shop
Have you felt like your opportunities have been limited or affected by your body size? Have any opportunities opened up for you because of your body size?
I look a lot smaller than I am so whenever I work with brands, there are almost always people yelling at the brand for hiring me since I’m “not inclusive enough as an hourglass”. They don’t realize that many of the people who they see as being fatter are actually a lot smaller and able to wear things I can’t. A small waist doesn’t make my 78-inch hips magically fit into something.
There are very few brands that I can work with cuz of my size. Many of them only began carrying 4x because of me. I keep working on trying to get them to extend higher, and won’t stop till that happens.
A lot of the plus-size brands that are popular in the plus-size modelling community, I either am too big to fit, or can only wear a select few articles of clothing where the fabric is stretchy, and the cut is low.
Sometimes I’ll get these amazing offers for great pay, but have to turn them down and continue working with brands that don’t pay, cuz I can’t fit the clothes required. I’ll also be targeted by weight loss brands who offer great pay, but I refuse to work for diet culture. No matter how badly I need the money. That one always stings.
How did you discover body acceptance or body positivity personally? What kind of difference has it made for you?
When I got into cam it was meant to be a way to degrade me. I hated my body and had body dysmorphia. Every day I’d fixate on a part of my body that bothered me. From my wings to thighs, belly, butt, etc. I desensitized myself to things. I realized that there were thousands who loved my body when I had been told forever that fatness was the worst thing ever.
I thought about how no matter how I looked, that there would always be people who’d think I was perfect, and those who’d think I was gross.
Then I realized that all the things I thought about myself were really just me repeating what I assumed others thought of me. That whether they thought I was beautiful or not, I’d look the same regardless. So why give them that power of me? I loved myself and thought I was beautiful. I really didn’t know anything about the movement back then.
What advice do you have for other people who are learning to love and accept their bodies?
Being fat, and loving yourself regardless is powerful AF. You can ruin a fatphobes whole day by simply existing. The fact they create fake profiles, search our hashtags, join hate forums about us, create pages about us, and obsess on us so deeply while claiming they couldn’t care less is hilarious. You have so much power over them it’s funny. Grab a donut, and eat it in a bikini and they’ll lose their minds.
Also, being fat is kinda liberating too. There’s not the constant fear of becoming fat. Once I gained weight the constant obsession with food stopped. The thought of bloat didn’t matter anymore.
What advice do you have for other aspiring plus-size models?
You don’t need money to create a portfolio. I went to dressing rooms and took pics in clothes I didn’t own. I swapped out the backgrounds. Still worked great. You can create a media kit on Canva for free. Hit up as many brands and you can, and don’t get discouraged if they don’t reply. Most don’t.
Be careful who you trust, and don’t talk about gigs till that check or the items are in your hand.
Avoid gossip. If some colleague keeps trying to drag you into it, change the subject. Odds are they’re gossiping about you too. You don’t want a part of that drama. Be authentic. Don’t worry about trying to compete with others. There’s plenty of room at the top. Always make time for other unknown names instead of focusing on those who are popular. You’ll get a lot more support, can lift each other up, and it’s far more rewarding.
Where can we find and support you?
https://linktr.ee/Lilithfury 🙂
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Let’s dig deep.
Every Monday, I send out my Body Liberation Guide, a thoughtful email jam-packed with resources for changing the way you see your own body and the bodies you see around you. And it’s free. Let’s change the world together.
Shelbey Osborne is a 200-hour Yoga Teacher. She is passionate about yoga and astrology and uses these teachings to help individuals connect deeper to their own intuition. She is an advocate for body acceptance and applying a self-compassionate approach to all areas of our lives.
